Who would've thought cheaply copying Sam Cooke could sound this good?

You can't spend the night... Yes, I'm sure you're right. You can't spend the night... Yeah, I'm sure you're right. You can't spend the night... Yes, I'm sure you're right. But we could spend the night together. Or alone. That would be better. It's Friday night and I ain't got nobody. Oh, what's the use of making a bed? I took something and it feels like karate; it's kicked me down and left me for dead. It's Friday night and I ain't got nobody, so what's the use of pulling a shape? I put what I want, when I want, in my body. I'm never gonna give what I take.

Weddings

It's not every Catholic church service you get invited to a singles night on the strength of your prayer reading...

...Tony Blair said he wanted to 'bottle the moment' at the turn of the millenium, that feeling that everyone who wasn't a cynic had that just maybe we did all love each other and the world could be better...

...I always want to bottle the feeling at weddings...

...Especially the spontaneous love you have for people you don't really know, because if George is a friend of Yashoda's from school, then, hell, George is a helluva friend to me too...

...and then the next day it rains, and we go back to our lives, the endless cycles of the washing machine, the white shirts and the beard trims, and people fly back to the countries they came from, the bromances come tumbling down, and you deeply, despearately hope those hugs and handshakes and stay in touches meant more than small talk in the dark...

...such a sense of community, such a sense of love....

...oh Ed, oh Yashoda, congratulations....

...You licked it last night.

Ebay

I bought an Omega
on Ebay
from the Phillipines

Beautiful
In every way
But not quite what it seemed

It's genuine,
It's beautiful
But a problem therein lurked

The bloody thing,
the wretched thing,
didn't bloody work.

My flatmate said
Some people like
To buy things bloody new

So I sent it back and
spent half the cash
and before the day was new

I had a Rotary
with a guarantee
that even covers my own clumsiness

For half the price
of a heap of junk
that revealed all my silliness

So fuck off Ebay.

Amen Gordon Brown

So there he goes. Storming out of TV studios, railing against the media, ranting against The Sun. The poor bloke's got a point. He was a man out of touch with his time, almost too deep for the depths politicians are forced to paddle in. Too serious for the soundbite, too frosty for the Facebook generation.

But what a way to go. Ranting at interviewers, walking out with a radio mic on, standing in front of cameras. At least if you're going down, go down swinging like yesterday's drunk Glaswegian fist fighter railing in the last chance saloon.

Apparently, he's gay

I didn't see it coming.

she went to the bathroom, glossed her lips;

but i said i'm just too old for this.

A friend of a friend of mine

Did a 6 month course and now he delivers boats around the world. That's his job. He gets called down to Southampton and told to deliver a Sunseeker to Morocco.

It makes you think, doesn't it?